Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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