i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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