We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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