yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
