Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life