I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky