Ambien. No doubt about it.
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time