Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she woke up with a sticky ear
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction