i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.