you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
