I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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