The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
