no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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