It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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