Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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