I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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