i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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