There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
