I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
