So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
