Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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