Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
