apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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