Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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