if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
