More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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