After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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