That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love you.
Bad choice
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