Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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