Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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