Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize