Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
