Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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