i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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