I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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