It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
