Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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