I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.