I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?