am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.