you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
