Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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