Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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