Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
