Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize