my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize