we're blogging at a bar
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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