my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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