Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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