so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
