I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize