You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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