just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
