So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize