i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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