Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
