I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
