My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
