Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
