why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
