I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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