He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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