forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
