She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
