shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
