I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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