lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
