Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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